As a young middle child girl, between brothers, who daily tried to find her spot to fit in, I tried to prove to my father that he could rely on me for responsible farm chores. I just knew I could handle the task of filling my father's farm truck with gasoline.
After parking his truck at our large gasoline tank, my father gave me strict instructions to NOT walk away while pumping. I was to listen to the sound of the truck tank filling so I would know when it was full and when to cease pumping. The 5-6 minutes of focused attention that was required is an eternity to a girl with a hint of ADD.
Quickly, I was convinced that I could run off for just a few minutes and return just in time to complete the farm truck task. I was looking forward to seeing my father's approving smile and feel his large hand on my shoulder as he told me I did a perfect job!
Long story short......I saw a look on my father's face but it wasn't the look I anticipated. As for the 'perfect job' pat on the shoulder, that was exchanged for a swift and meaningful spanking that was well deserved. For years and years, I couldn't walk or ride by the spot on our farm that
once held the 'gasoline pond' without wincing. Even today, some 30+ years later, I could point that spot out to you. There were many more opportunities for me to prove myself and I'm sure in most, I was successful.
I wish I could go back and tell my young girl self how fortunate I was to have a father, and mother who loved and cared for me like they did. I can only hope and pray that I've passed on the same sense of knowing 'unconditional love' to my son.
